Death of Telecom

You were selected by your state employment office for an orientation titled “Client Re-employment”; you assume it is because you are considered white collar and can benefit from a higher level of resume writing and interviewing training. Turns out it’s because the state’s evaluation of your combination of past jobs, salary and your particular industry makes it highly unlikely you will be able to find a similar job to what you have had for the past 10 years. Turns out you are becoming obsolete. Although you were concentrating on a position OUTSIDE telecom all along, this news makes you now feel dejected, a relic of another age. A dinosaur. Telecom was to be your “fall back” gig; turns out it’s nothing but a dead end. At this advanced age you are forced to change your spots. This idea does not make you jump for joy.

The majority of the dinosaurs in your orientation class were around you age or older. This is also an eye opener, not because you realize the old get left behind but because you are now grouped in their category. No amount of Origin’s Perfect World will help this situation. You, like the rest of them, have an expiration date stamped on you somewhere that only employers can see. Time to invest in enough self-tanner to cover the mark.

Driving Miss Lazy

It's not like you're new to this, for you it's actually old hat. Problem is your regular, everyday blog is read by your friends so it severely limits what you can say about them and yourself, so you've set up this other, secret site to rant and confess. Fun, huh? Now you just have to come up with something to say. Yup, there's the rub---there's always a rub.

You're 48, twice divorced, unemployed, living with your gay best friend in his house and you finally admit that you are just a little bit disappointed in what we will call your life. Oh, and you suck at spelling which would otherwise discourage you from writing anything if not for spellcheck. Praise Jesus for spellcheck. You realize you sincerely don't look that good on paper, but you joke with yourself and play it off for the laugh value. You're good at telling jokes so you believe it and laugh along with yourself. Maybe you should set yourself up on Match.com with those as your most positive characteristics, old, divorced, in a temporary gap in your career---you'll have those men-folk banging your door down for sure, everyone likes a train wreck. Perhaps you should stock up on condoms, just in case.

You congratulate yourself for setting up this blog and have succeeded in getting it's all important, maiden voyage post out of the way so you can compliment yourself on filling your unemployed hours with something worthwhile and productive. Not that sitting in the sun reading David Sedaris isn't productive. Beats watching daytime TV.

PS You hate this page layout but you just can't dick with it anymore today. When you have more time you promise you'll put that Fine Arts education your daddy paid for to work and fix the fucker. But not now, there's a refrigerator to raid and it won't eat out itself.

PSS Although you won't be winning any design prizes for this layout, it beats the shit out of the original. You figure you can live with it.